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| A Lawyer’s Sense of Humor These confrontations seem, like paper cuts,
to be an inevitable hazard of the profession, yet it’s hard not to
perceive them as personal attacks.
Aristotle referred to wit as “educated insolence,” which leads
many of us to question the training provided by our schools. The trouble with some of the lawyer jokes is
that lawyers don’t think they’re funny and others don’t think they’re
jokes. I never gave lawyer jokes much consideration
until law school. Upon graduation,
I expected to receive congratulations and well-wishes and, perhaps,
an outside chance of a gift or two.
That was expecting too much from my acquaintances.
They turned on me. My
mail was filled with cartoons and cards bearing lawyer jokes. The front of one card read, “What do you call
20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?”
On the inside was a single word, “Skeet”. And that’s the way I felt; everyone was taking
pot shots at me. Why did these so-called friends attack me?
What changed? After all, I was still the same sweet lovable
kid who pulled chairs from under my brother, put tacks on the teacher’s
chair, and burned down the neighbor’s garage while smoking cigarettes. Why did my passing the bar exam suddenly make
me fair game for others to delight in disparaging my character? It seemed that, to them, there was no sweeter
sound than the crumbling of their fellow man.
I took it all personally, but consoled myself
by clinging to the thought that the good Lord never gives you more
than you can handle — unless of course you die.
But it did create a strain.
I got to the point where I didn’t like my loved ones. At first, I responded with a mix of wit
and reason. I explained that
it was only 95 percent of the profession who gave the rest of us a
bad name. My argument fell on deaf ears. Reason, I discovered, is futile. I also discovered it is dangerous to be sincere,
unless you are also stupid. Like many new lawyers, I then determined
that the solution was to fight fire with fire.
I decided to go on the offensive.
When my neighbor, Enoch, asked, “Why won’t sharks eat lawyers?”
and then answered his own question, “Professional courtesy”, my snappy
response was, “Well, I guess you should know sharks.
Your momma’s so dumb that when you sit next to her you can
hear the ocean.” At the Secret
Squirrels holiday party, he tried again and asked, “Why is it unethical
for lawyers to have sex with their clients?”
Without waiting for a response, he said, “Because it would
mean billing twice for essentially the same service.”
My retort was, “Your momma is so dumb, it
takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.” Trading sarcastic barbs diverted attention and
gave a sense of amusement. In
retrospect, I realize my approach, although funny, is juvenile and
tasteless. Another unfortunate
consequence is that Enoch’s mom doesn’t talk to me anymore. It is more difficult to deal with the situation
when it is your own client making the jokes. One particularly offensive client, after throwing
zingers at me, apologetically said, “I suppose that you think that
my conduct is boorish and you’re just trying to pretend that I know
what I am talking about,” to which I graciously responded, “In our
office, the client is always right.”
It enhanced my feeling of self-worth, but interfered with collection
of accounts receivable. Jokes about lawyers, like gravity, have
been around for 100 years and will probably continue long into the
future. Don’t look for a reprieve, because I have seen
the light at the end of the tunnel and it is out. Abe Lincoln said, “When you have an elephant
by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it is best to let him
run.” This is Try this experiment. Take a lawyer joke and substitute your friend’s
ethnic group as the subject and repeat it to your friend. Or, the next time you make a deposit, ask the
loan officer, “What do you call 10,000 bankers at the bottom of the
sea”? Wait for his reaction when you say, “A good
start.” Don’t expect laughter
or continuing friendship, but if the roles are reversed, feel welcome
to smile. Self-deprecation
is amusing. Lawyers telling lawyer jokes can be funny. Let’s fill the interval between bar admission
and the grave with laughter. Assemble
a cornucopia of wit and humor. When
you see the chubby, middle-aged man from the Tilt-a-Whirl, beat him
to the punch line. Beat him at his own game. Remember, where there is a Will, there are relatives.
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